friday!

this week actually seemed shorter than most, by some miracle. 
i think it might have been the cloud of happiness around me.
that or the fact that i actually don't feel like a zombie anymore even though i've had LESS sleep than usual.


this was my last full week of actual school until the second week of january, which is the start of the new semester. monday through thursday are EXAMSEXAMSEXAMS.
which actually seem like they're going to be easy.
simply because i know my stuff and i'm allowed to have a cheat sheet at the very least on each exam. in pre-ap i get to use EVERYTHING because we're just writing two essays and, hello!, it sort of helps to have textual support sometimes. and in econ, i get to use my entire notebook of outlines. thank you, god.


but, right along with the beginning of the second semester is the beginning of our production of oliver!


i'm definitely resting as much as physically possible over the break. especially since we're going to have wee ones in oliver!


anyways, in effort to take a break from the addictingness that editing pictures on picnik is, here's your fill in the blank friday from lauren at the little things we do!


* my most favorite "little thing" is either being lazy with a hot cup of coffee on a sunday morning or feeling pretty. yes, i am slightly vain. but isn't everyone?


* i'd give anything to go on uchicago's trip to greece next summer. damn you people, sending me tempting pamphlets!!


* i can't believe my junior year is already halfway over. it seemed like barely two weeks ago it was august and i was just starting off the year. less than a year until i start applying to colleges, and i'm freaking excited!


* the one thing i'd like to achieve today is an hour of yoga. it sounds sooooooo good right now because my back is killing me. i feel like a spring that's a tad bit too compressed.


* the last thing i want to do today is fail miserably at writing. so i'll try not to fail :)


* if i were writing my own blank today, it would say: december word association: go!


* my favorite candle scent is ... well, um, i don't really burn candles. but my old english teacher had (and still has) a sugar cookie one on a warmer in her classroom so it always smells really good in there.

fiesta

i actually had an amazing weekend, even though there were some pretty... um... unexpected twists and turns in the plot. and some expected ones, too.


and i literally only have one picture of the party. and that was because i simply HAD to get photographic evidence of theo's expression. only reason i didn't get that many pictures was because it was fairly dim and people got pissed off at me for using flash, though. OTHERWISE THERE WOULD BE PICTURES. 
i would have forced them to face my wrath.


one of the many reasons i should {and should not} be allowed to have my own camera. 


but i am one very happy chica right now. even though the stress of exams and other impending doom is pressing down upon me... i'm happy. i'm the happiest i've been for quite some time.


says the girl who has sobbed her eyes out to three books and two episodes of BONES in the past two weeks.


ANYWAYS.


i'm happy because i have raphael back. as my best friend, that is. 


the gang was all at the party on saturday apart from gabriel. he thought the party was going to be trashy, and it wasn't REALLY. not like OMGSHIELDYOUREYESHIDEYOWIFEANCHILLUN trashy. there were a couple of people who.. well. yeah. it was a party. a party with parental supervision, but a party all the same.


the birthday girls were their usual primped selves, though i have to admit i LOVED tory's dress. mostly because i have a thing for ruffles.


keep in mind that these are people i see a couple of times a year. that makes me able to stand their... um... incompetence isn't a nice word but it's the only one that pops into my head.


anyways, they were gracious hostesses though i arrived a tad bit early, hugging and squealing and complimenting me over my dolled-up-ness and electric colored shoes. i, of course, wished them both happy birthday and fussed over them an appropriate amount until evangeline arrived.


there was definitely squealing then.


while i've seen evvie the most recently and most frequently of my lovely quartet of friends, i never get tired of seeing her. it might have to do with the fact that she's the only other female in the group or that she's my sister or simply that i talk to her the most. and she's adorable when she's all smitten over a certain someone.


who was SUPPOSED to go to said party, but, when i called him {and he had no idea who i was because he's never met me in his life} he had "company." *is suspicious*


the next to arrive was theo and his always cute-as-a-button younger brother. of course, we hung out with the older of the pair, seeing as he is evvie's bestie soul mate {dare i compare them to gabriel and i? they're slightly more.... telepathic than us, but i suppose i do dare.}, dancing sillily to the pulsing music as more people continued to trickle in. and then....


raph arrived.


i don't know what it is, but i always get the worst case of nerves if there's even the slightest possibility of running into raph. if i have plans with him, i'm fine, but if it's something like a party or a dance, i start chewing on hang nails or pencils or basically anything i can chew on that isn't poisonous.


especially during that two year period where we weren't talking. at all. 


yeah, the nerves were definitely bad then.


it might just be because i can't even explain the relationship raph and i have to myself.


so. 
raph got there.
i swear i was not watching the door for him to get there.


ANYWAYS. {i swear, rissa. stop distracting yourself.}


evvie got a hug, and then i was offered one, too. which surprised me because ever since homecoming i have even less of a clue of where we stand than i ever have before.


and we danced. all of us, that is. we actually let go and had fun and danced. 


there are very few times when we are like that. and it's really nice when we are. 


and then, as the night continues on, my people begin to leave. first theodore, who was claiming fatigue, and his brother, then evangeline and her sister.


which left me and raph. and a bunch of the guys i used to hang out with when i still went to that school. what can i say? i may have never been a tomboy, but i hung with the boys.


still do.


it was awkward for about two seconds, and then raph forced me to start dancing with them and a couple of girls who were vaguely familiar but apparently knew exactly who i was {weirded out? yes. cool with it after a while? yes.}


and then some drama happened. i'm not going to go into details, but long story short, people were dumbasses and some of us left the party for a little while.


here's the part that i told a couple of people {possibly including my english teacher.... *shifty eyes*} and made them laugh pretty hard.


so. raph and i were in the same car when we left the party for a bit, mainly because he has a car and is the only person i trust to drive.


of course, the one time i'm alone with a guy in a car.... we start listening to classic {aka sinatra, bing crosby, nat king cole...} christmas music and playing chess on his iphone. CHESS, for crying out loud.


but we also reminisced on ye golden olden days, without a word spoken of our fight.


i didn't think he remembered. but he does.


which has made me happy for the past, oh, forty eight or so hours. and daydreamy.


plus, he's making up for not coming to my birthday party by agreeing to go ice skating with me sometime over winter break. which will probably be an utter disaster, but it'll be fun all the same.


i'm a happy girl.

p.s. we're watching dead poet society in pre-AP english. I FINALLY GET TO SEE THIS MOVIE *squee!!!!*


p.p.s. i'm really glad he didn't come to my party right about now. a) can you say AWKWARDDDDD? and b) um, yeah. he did not need to meet he-who-shall-not-be-named. so he didn't. thank god.

caramel coffee = antidote to the world

it has been a long fucking week. longer than usual.
i think i say that every week, but put an entire year into one week and that was this week.
but i'm finally sort of starting to feel like me again. thank god. i've felt like a zombie the past couple of weeks and have been sleeping as much as i possibly could without feeling any better at all. it sucked.
and then, last night, i stayed up until two or three {i have no idea when i passed out with my light on} and woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed with my alarm.
even though i fell asleep for a little while longer.
STILL. bright eyed and bushy tailed.
it felt good.
plus i have finally learned how to make just the right sized pot of coffee to fill up only my travel mug. and i have caramel coffee. it has been by saving grace &hearts

and now for your fill in the blank friday from lauren at the little things we do!


* love is a choice. something hard for me to believe in. amazing. heart-warming. heart-breaking. work. incredible. painful. something that happens only after there are no walls.

* being in love feels like ... i wouldn't know..... but it should feel like butterflies and heart flutters and frustration and contentness and, at the end of the day, it should be a warm, soft blanket to wrap yourself up in.

* my favorite quote about love is {this totally shows my book-worm-y-ness...} "I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was a drizzle and she was a hurricane." - John Green, Looking for Alaska
{i love john green sooo much (ms. bisig and i have this in common. all the more reason to love her.) and this definitely captures it. whatever it is.}


* the most important thing in a relationship is um. i don't think i'm really qualified in answering this question....
but, honestly, communication. definitely. it's a two-way street, though. you can't bitch about someone not talking after not talking. it doesn't work like that. it also needs to have an openess conveyed in so many ways. closed minds are closed hearts.

* a "deal breaker" for me in a relationship is not listening to what i have to say. my words may be far and few {well, verbal words...} but when i speak it's probably important. {also known as DEFINITELY important}


* the way i show love in my relationships is i'm very much a touchy person. i rub shoulders and necks when people seem stressed, trail fingers down arms in sympathy, squeeze hands and give tight hugs when nothing else will communicate my emotions. it just doesn't always translate, unfortunately.

* i love mi raphael angelo.


{images via weheartit}