feliz fin de semana

yes, i did just say "happy weekend" in spanish. because i have skills {and that's the extent of them}.

this week has been a looong and treacherous journey. i think monday was the only truly good day i had and that was because i got to show off my new dress. it all went downhill from there, including but not limited to missing rehearsal {and the optional stage combat rehearsal that I REALLY WANTED TO GO TO}, missing school on wednesday {which is why i missed the stage combat rehearsal}, running a fever since tuesday, already beginning to feel the effects of what next tuesday marks...

in case you didn't know, next tuesday is the two year anniversary of my grandpa's death, and i was really close to my grandpa. he had been diagnosed with lung cancer about 10 months before he passed away of natural causes. in order to spend as much time as i could with him while he actually had energy {which means around 12-2:30 in the afternoon}, i went into a virtual academy for my freshman year of high school. 
it was really, really hard on me. it still is. i think about him all of the time, and each day ever since has been harder than the day before.

ANYWAYS, on a lighter note, it's fall. it's beautiful outside, even if it is freaking FREEZING. i slept almost all day on wednesday {and so did a certain le boyf :P} and then had a pan-am marathon {and napped occasionally through the bits and pieces i've already seen}.

and now, this weekend is going to be a CLEAN ALL THE THINGS and get rid of stuffs weekend. and then rehearsal on sunday. and repeat.

i'm going to need lots and lots of this

here's your fall themed fill-in-the-blank friday from lauren at the little things we do

1.  nothing says fall like hot chocolate/hot tea, baked goods, and soft warm things like scarves and sweaters and hugs.

2. my favorite autumnal tradition is homecoming at greeneview. 99.99999% of the time, the greeneview homecoming is better than my school's. it might just be the people, though (considering the pictures and dinner are always the best part. ALWAYS.)

evangeline, gabe, and i before the greeneview homecoming :)

3. my favorite fall treat is candy corn. i've been known to eat a value size bag of brach's candy corn in a week {mainly because i sneak it in my school bag and sit there and eat it all day}

4. fall makes me think of family and friends because it seems to be when all of mine come together {and/or fall apart, but that's a moot point}. something about the cozier weather and falling leaves just brings people together :)

5. autumn free form word association, go! car trips, pretty colors, saltwater breezes, sweaters, boots, warmth, cozy, love.

6. my go-to outfit in the fall is black/brown/grey 3/4 length sleeve shirt with a pretty scarf, bright flats, and jeans. OR a summer dress with a sweater {and probably flats}

7. my favorite fall holiday is (Halloween or Thanksgiving) they both involve food so i don't really have a preference :P
actually, it just sort of changes year to year. i will still trick-or-treat {if you have an issue with the fact that i'm almost sixteen and still trick-or-treat, go eat some health food!} IF i'm not busy. this year i have rehearsal during trick-or-treat time. pretty sure wallingford did that on purpose. but i also really love thanksgiving, it just really reminds me of grandpa....

happy weekend!

why being obsessive sucks

it's around 9:30 on a tuesday night, and what i should be doing and what i'm actually doing are two entirely different things

i should be getting home from rehearsal, eating dinner, finishing my essay on patrick henry's "give me liberty or give me death" speech for pre-ap english class tomorrow morning, talking to my boyfriend, showering, and then going to bed. maybe even looking over my chem lab procedure again so i don't totally screw up tomorrow.

what am i actually doing?

well, i'm definitely not getting home from practice. i have been in my house since i got home from school today - that's right, i was unaware that i even HAD rehearsal for the comedy of errors tonight. neither did mom. le boyf didn't say "hey! you're supposed to be at practice tonight, too!", unfortunately, and my ever-so-lovely (ha, ha.... NOT. i have an extreme distaste for her) stage manager called me RIGHT WHEN REHEARSAL STARTED. it's, like, a 20 minute drive to the school when there isn't a fall monsoon going on, and she knows that if i'm not there early, something's up. but no. she decides to call at 7:15.
and mom couldn't drive. she wasn't having the best reaction to meds, and i'm not about to let her drive IN A MONSOON {not really a monsoon. monsoon is just my word of choice because rain was coming down in thick sheets for a good half hour earlier} under the negative influence of her meds. and i of course hardly have any street driving under my belt and i am not about to start when it's pouring down rain.

so i'm at home. anyone in the theatre department who has an issue with that can leave me alone because if they give me crap about it tomorrow i will more than likely go off. because i already threw a temper tantrum {because i was so mad AT MYSELF} {and sent the boyfriend a short mean yell-y text, which i apologized for when i was sane again}.

and, since i've been so on edge and pissy and stressed tonight, i've been sitting here reading the modern love column on the new york times website and ranting to my big. my essay, for the most part, is done and can be finished and touched up in the morning, and i'm taking a steaming hot shower as soon as i finish this post.

i really can't stand real people lately. no one other than dalton and mom and my interwebz friends like my emu soulmate and my big. the rest of them i either want to punch in the face or insult them or scream at them or all of the above. especially the ones who get pissy when i originally ask nicely to back off and leave me alone and retaliate when they don't.

"take me away to january
i'm done with this year
i'm tired of everyone here
i'm sick of this midwestern town
can't let this place get me down..." 
       - a chase coy lyric that seems rather appropriate right about now..........


hopefully your week is going better than mine =)