why being obsessive sucks

it's around 9:30 on a tuesday night, and what i should be doing and what i'm actually doing are two entirely different things

i should be getting home from rehearsal, eating dinner, finishing my essay on patrick henry's "give me liberty or give me death" speech for pre-ap english class tomorrow morning, talking to my boyfriend, showering, and then going to bed. maybe even looking over my chem lab procedure again so i don't totally screw up tomorrow.

what am i actually doing?

well, i'm definitely not getting home from practice. i have been in my house since i got home from school today - that's right, i was unaware that i even HAD rehearsal for the comedy of errors tonight. neither did mom. le boyf didn't say "hey! you're supposed to be at practice tonight, too!", unfortunately, and my ever-so-lovely (ha, ha.... NOT. i have an extreme distaste for her) stage manager called me RIGHT WHEN REHEARSAL STARTED. it's, like, a 20 minute drive to the school when there isn't a fall monsoon going on, and she knows that if i'm not there early, something's up. but no. she decides to call at 7:15.
and mom couldn't drive. she wasn't having the best reaction to meds, and i'm not about to let her drive IN A MONSOON {not really a monsoon. monsoon is just my word of choice because rain was coming down in thick sheets for a good half hour earlier} under the negative influence of her meds. and i of course hardly have any street driving under my belt and i am not about to start when it's pouring down rain.

so i'm at home. anyone in the theatre department who has an issue with that can leave me alone because if they give me crap about it tomorrow i will more than likely go off. because i already threw a temper tantrum {because i was so mad AT MYSELF} {and sent the boyfriend a short mean yell-y text, which i apologized for when i was sane again}.

and, since i've been so on edge and pissy and stressed tonight, i've been sitting here reading the modern love column on the new york times website and ranting to my big. my essay, for the most part, is done and can be finished and touched up in the morning, and i'm taking a steaming hot shower as soon as i finish this post.

i really can't stand real people lately. no one other than dalton and mom and my interwebz friends like my emu soulmate and my big. the rest of them i either want to punch in the face or insult them or scream at them or all of the above. especially the ones who get pissy when i originally ask nicely to back off and leave me alone and retaliate when they don't.

"take me away to january
i'm done with this year
i'm tired of everyone here
i'm sick of this midwestern town
can't let this place get me down..." 
       - a chase coy lyric that seems rather appropriate right about now..........


hopefully your week is going better than mine =)